Jonny

I was moved by Jonny’s answer at the end of today’s video.

Jonny is only 20 years old, but he feels like he’s got to hurry up and make moves.

Or maybe I am projecting. Because that’s how I feel too: as if I’m always 50 steps behind where I should be.

This feeling started when I was around 10 years old when I got into sports. Playing basketball made me feel important and connected to something greater than myself. So I told myself I needed to make it to the NBA. It’s like a fire inside me was lit.

I am now 40 years old—double Jonny’s age—and I still feel the constant fear and sadness that I won’t live up to my potential.

I’m perpetually hungry for more. Hungry to make more, to express more, and to be more within my life.

But when I’m not careful, this hunger burns me out. In fact, even when I am careful, it still sometimes does.

I think about how Steve Jobs famously said the key to life is to “stay hungry.”

While I agree, I also think that if you don’t take time to slow down, to celebrate how far you’ve come, and to count the blessings already in your life… the same hunger that drives you becomes the hunger that starves you.

I’m starting to open up about my fears of not being enough with my friends. They encourage me to be kind to myself, and remind me of how far I’ve come. I am grateful for their support and love. But to be honest sometimes it’s hard to receive and believe. The fire inside is too big and too hungry and somehow I am back to feeling behind.

So thank you Jonny, for getting it. And for taking time out of your shift at the restaurant to make art with a stranger.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Jonny and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.